The Time We Really Annoyed The Sub

Everyone knows that band is the worst class to have a substitute teacher for. Since it's very difficult to find subs for band that actually know something about music, you usually end up having a study hall that day. But sometimes, they'll find a sub that was once a band director or something, and thinks they know what they're talking about, but they usually don't. Either that, or they know something, but they are horrible at conducting and don't have the leadership skills to keep the band under control. (Why do you think they aren't a band director anymore?) These types of band subs are the worst kind.

Now that I'm in high school, we have student conductors (including myself) that can lead rehearsal if our band director is ever gone, so we don't have the problem of dealing with incompetent substitutes. However, when I was in middle school, we had a few that were really bad...

It was probably March or April of my sixth grade year, and we were preparing for our spring concert. One of our pieces was a concert band arrangement of "Do Re Mi," from "The Sound of Music." You know, "Do, a deer, a female deer; Re, a drop of golden sun..." It happened to be my favorite piece in the program for that concert.
Both of our band directors were gone, and we had one of those subs who thinks they know something but they really don't. Or at least this guy was really bad at conveying the fact that he knew things. But anyway, we were about to rehearse the piece I just mentioned when he left to go do something quick. So, like any band does, we started practicing it on our own, individually, while we waited for him.
It started in the trumpet section. We had a couple trumpet players who liked to play together when we had a pause like this during rehearsal, and they started playing through the piece from the beginning. My stand partner and I joined in, because why not, and some of the saxophones followed. Gradually, each section realized where we were in the piece and started playing, until the entire band was playing through the piece with no conductor or anything. We were relying on listening to others around us and our own internal pulse, like a band should do all the time, even with a conductor. It was absolutely glorious.
We finished the piece, and the band room was dead silent for about three seconds before we all burst out laughing. We were amazed by what we had just done, and it was also hilarious because by that time, the sub had returned to the room and was standing on the podium looking quite put out.
After rehearsing that piece for a little bit, he made the mistake of leaving again to get a drink of water. This time, we knew what we were doing and started playing one of our other pieces without a conductor, but we only got a few measures in before the sub ran back into the room, wildly waving his arms and yelling, "Stop! Stop!" The whole thing was priceless.

I know I said that my stories were going to be from this year, 2015, but that one is so funny, or at least I think it is, that I wanted to share it with you. Maybe try this with your band the next time you have a sub;)