Practicing

Wow... A lot has happened since I last posted. And I mean a lot. But this is (mainly) a blog about music and not a blog where I tell my life story (although I do tell some stories because lets face it, music is an immensely important part of my life). So let's get to the post.

I just finished practicing my flute for an hour. In the old days, this wouldn't have been notable at all-- I frequently practiced for an hour or more, almost every day. But now, I'm a senior in high school, a drum major and band teacher's assistant, my piano lessons are more intense and require more practice than ever, I have homework, and I was writing college essays nonstop back in September. In short, I have a lot going on. So tonight was the first time in a very long time that I had actually practiced for an hour straight. In light of this monumental event, I decided to write a post to share the tips and tricks I've figured out about practicing.

I've finally just accepted the fact that I hate practicing at school. Even though my school has nice practice rooms with sound-dampening pads on the walls and a piano in three out of four of them, I don't like practicing there unless I really need to work something out or warm up before a lesson. It's not that I'm insecure, although it can be a bit unnerving to have other people walking by or in the other practice rooms where I know they can hear me. I just don't like being isolated from whatever is happening out in the band room, because that's usually where all my friends are and I don't want to be left out. That's just a minor reason, though-- the main reason why I don't like practicing at school is because as a TA and a music librarian, I have so many responsibilities in the band room, especially where organization is concerned, that I feel like I'm shirking those responsibilities if I practice at school.
So I practice at home. This can be dangerous, though, because I'm more likely to procrastinate and subsequently decide not to practice, favoring the comfort of my couch instead. However, my practice sessions at home are sometimes more productive, when my family doesn't interrupt me. Usually, I need it pretty quiet in order to focus on what I need to do.
I've also found that sometimes, it's helpful to practice when there are other things going on in my house. For example, if my dad is listening to music downstairs, it provides (ironically) a soundtrack for my practicing, that is, the muffled tunes I hear from downstairs energize and inspire me, either to accomplish my own epic musical feats, play along, or to cover up what I'm hearing if I don't like it.

So ultimately, my perfect practice environment changes from day to day, and really what it comes down to is the head game I have to play with myself every time I'm trying to motivate myself to practice. I've been pretty good about practicing for at least 20-30 minutes every day, but I definitely need to do more. It's an ongoing process, I suppose.

Finally!

Hello, everyone! I'm pretty proud of myself, because after almost a year, I've finally finished the posting challenge! Even though it was supposed to be done in 15 days... Oh well... :)

Anyway, I just thought I'd let you know some of my ideas for what I'll post next. These are just ideas now; I'll have to see if any of them are worth writing about, but anyway:

1. The time we played pep band for an NBA game
2. The time we moved a Christmas tree (more interesting than it sounds, I promise)
3. The Music Librarians' Code (based on the Warrior Code from the Warriors series by Erin Hunter)

That third one reminds me of some news I have. As I may or may not have mentioned, I am a music librarian for the band at my high school. I am the only music librarian for the band at my high school. I've been a bit worried about this, because I'm going to graduate in a little over a year, and before last week, I didn't have an apprentice to take over after I'm gone. But, at long last, I have found one! So that's where my inspiration for writing the Music Librarians' Code comes from.  I know that doesn't mean much to you all, but I'm really excited about it anyway.

Anyway, it's about dinnertime, so I'll be signing off now. See ya later!

Day 15: Your Philosophy

Much has happened in my life lately. I've learned a few things in the past months, and been left with many things to figure out. However, I am happier now than I've been in a very long time, because after all these years, I believe I've finally established a solid philosophy to live by. So, naturally, I decided to share it with you.

There are five parts to this great realization of mine. As I explain them, I'll probably sound like a really long motivational quote, but these things are worth repeating, at least for me.

The first part is this: Forgive. Forgive others for the things they've done to you, because you never know if this will be your last chance. And in the end, you'll both be better off because of forgiveness. But also, and perhaps more importantly, forgive yourself, even when that's easier said than done.

Secondly, always look on the bright side. This can be very difficult, because I know from personal experience that some situations can look very bleak, especially when you are overly negative like I am. But I promise you, every bad situation has something good about it. Even if the only good thing is that it won't last forever. Every bad day will pass, because the sun will rise again and give you another chance.

The third thing kind of goes with the second: Find the good in others, and especially yourself. They say that you cannot truly love someone else until you love yourself, and despite much debate, I have found this to be true. As I like to say, "Duets are great, but you have to have a strong melody line first." Just don't love yourself too much; selfishness is the destroyer of relationships. As for other people, don't be quick to judge. Perhaps I'm naive to think this, but I believe that there's something good about everyone, even if that one thing is a part of themselves that they've forgotten. I do not think that anyone, even the most despicable people in the world, is inherently evil. Wickedness is a learned behavior, taught by cruelty and injustice, anger and unfairness. I believe that everyone deserves to be shown kindness and deserves to be treated fairly.

The fourth piece of my philosophy is this: Be passionate about something. It doesn't really matter what, so long as it isn't illegal or dangerous or anything (obviously). In my case, it turns out that I have quite a bit of passion, dedication, and love to pour out for the things (or people) I care about. I am committed to music, to my faith, and to those I love, and this ultimately gives me something to live for.

Finally, I will leave you with this. Never, ever, give up. Life is hard, and you will fall down and get broken either physically or emotionally or both sometimes, but do not let anything keep you from getting up again. There will be people (including yourself) who will try to discourage you. Don't listen to them. There will be dark, terrible days and nights, when it seems as though your life is shattering around you and you just want to wake up from this nightmare that has become your reality. Believe that things will get better. Ask for help when it's a really big issue, and help yourself to look on the bright side when it isn't. Keep things in perspective. And remember this: Even of you have loved and lost, the important part is that you have loved, and have been loved. If you feel absolutely awful, as if you're drowning in your own sorrows, at least you feel something. Even if emotions are painful, at least you have them. Even if you feel like dying, that proves that you're alive. And if you're alive, that means that things have the potential to get better. But no matter how hard life gets, keep on fighting. Life can be unfair sometimes, and the world can be a cruel, messed up place, but that doesn't mean that you and I should give up on trying, in our own small ways, to make it better.

Day 14: Someone You Wish You Could Forget And Someone You Never Want To Forget

I happen to be in the interesting position where the person I wish I could forget and the person I never want to forget are the same person. Weird, huh? :)
Since I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason, and therefore everyone that has been in my life has done so for a reason, there is no one that I really would want to erase completely from my memory. Everyone I've ever met has taught me something, even if it's the same lesson over and over again, and I don't want to forget anything I've learned. So here are short descriptions of the person I sometimes want to forget, but still never will...

~Person I Sometimes Want To Forget~
Name: Past Me
Age: 11-14 years
Personality: Shy, very, very shy... Pretty smart, did well in school, but was terrible in social situations. Had a few close friends, and was kind of judgemental of others that were not her friends. Was a bit of an emotional mess, and had low self-esteem. Tried to fit in with the popular girls, and lamented when she failed.

Explanation: I sometimes want to forget Past Me because she is so incredibly different from Present Me, and I cringe sometimes, thinking back. However, I did learn so many things during those years, about myself and life, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. Although I definitely wouldn't do it again; going through puberty while your parents are getting a divorce simply sucks, let me tell you.

~Person I Never Want To Forget~
Name: Long Past Me
Age: 1-11 years
Personality: Shy, but adorable. Almost always happy, or content; rarely ever cried. Had a vast and wild imagination, and could come up with a story or song off the top of her head, or play for hours with her brother. Sang and danced as if no one were watching...

Explanation: I really miss Long Past Me, to be honest. She was such a happy, innocent creature, with nothing to worry about, no reason to ever cry... And I learned lessons from her, too, such as how to be happy, how to be imaginative, how to dream and follow those dreams. I don't ever want to forget her or the things I learned.

So basically, I don't have someone I want to forget, because I've learned things from everyone, including (and perhaps especially) myself. Truthfully, everyone I've ever met is someone I never want to forget, because I'll carry their lessons with me forever.

Merry Christmas! (And Coming Soon)

Merry Christmas to all of you wonderful people who read this blog! I truly appreciate your support!

I thought I might give you a list of posts I'm hoping to write soon, so here's that:

1. Days 14 and 15 of posting challenge... I know, I know, it's taking way longer than it should, but school is seriously taking up soooo much time right now... AP European History... Ugh.

2. The Drawbacks of Being Awesome

3. The Time We Moved an Already-Decorated Christmas Tree

4. The Time We Played Pep Band For an NBA Game

5. The Power of Music (Specifically Christmas Hymns)

These are in no particular order.

Anyway, merry Christmas again, and I wish you all the very best in 2017! :)

Day 13: Draw A Picture Today

Hey everybody! So sorry I haven't posted in awhile. School and work are free time devourers, let me tell you. However, I am determined to finish the posting challenge I started way back in the summer, because so help me God, I want to follow through on this one thing.

So here we are, at Day 13 (though it's actually been like three months since Day 12, lol) and I have drawn a picture, like the prompt says. I didn't draw this today, but it was recently, and my intent was to post it on the day that I drew it, but that didn't end up happening. Oh well, here it is now.

It's not my absolute best work, and it's not entirely done yet, I don't think, but the purpose of this prompt was to express myself and relieve some stress through art, which I believe I have accomplished.
The cursive text says, "When Angels Weep," in case you can't tell. That is the title of a piece that my band is playing for our holiday concert, which also inspired this drawing. The piece opens with a flute solo, played by me, and progresses into something so painfully beautiful that it makes me want to cry. I can't help but move with the music, letting it flow through me and reveal my deepest emotions. Which is both wonderful and scary at the same time.
You see, when I make music, I feel as though whoever is listening can see right down into my very soul. Every emotion, every dream, every longing, every secret that I would wish to hide... All of it is expressed through my playing or singing. This is an awesome feeling, to be free and able to soar above all the hardships of this life, but it is also a bit scary, to be so... exposed. However, that's the greatest thing about art, music, or other things like that-- the joy of being free to express yourself will often overcome the fear of being judged, and the feeling when this happens is exhilarating. So I guess that's why I love the piece that inspired this drawing so much. It's so beautiful it hurts, and yet it makes me feel so... alive.

Well, that's that. I'll try to post the last two prompts in the challenge as soon as I can, but it could be awhile. AP European History will be the death of me, I swear. :P
Also, this blog has over 1,000 page views!! I know that's probably not that impressive, but whatever, I'm still excited about it! Thank you, everyone, for your support! Stay tuned for more nerdy thoughts from the band room...

Day 12: Write A Letter To Someone Who Hurt You Recently

8/30/16

Dear A,

A year ago today was last year's Rutabaga Fest. The day I first broke your trust. I've apologized countless times for it, and I still regret what happened that day. I asked for support when I shouldn't have had to, I craved attention that I didn't deserve, and I seriously hurt our friendship in the process.

You paid heed to me at first, supported me, listened to my petty problems, but eventually you realized that I was just being selfish and was only trying to get you to pay attention to me. So you told me I needed to figure things out myself, and then avoided me for awhile.

To be honest, that broke my heart. I thought you were doing it because you didn't care about me, or because I wasn't good enough, and I cried so many times over it all, even though that wasn't true. You avoided me because you did care, and you knew that the only way to get me to see where I had gone wrong was to take drastic measures.

Then, something amazing happened. I realized that I couldn't keep asking for your help and being needy, because that wasn't going to earn your trust back. And I wanted you to trust me more than I wanted your attention. So I started following your advice, figuring out my problems on my own, and slowly but surely, I pulled the pieces of myself back together and came out of it a better person. And our friendship has improved drastically because of that.

So thank you. Even though it wasn't fun, all of your encouragement and tough love helped me overcome some of my biggest problems, and did a great deal to prepare me for the future. And I am immensely grateful for that.

Sincerely,

Rosetail